How Tech Has Revolutionized the Affirmation

November 6, 2010

Been thinking about the fact of passwords and their function as modern-day (albeit largely unconscious) affirmations. Just quickly for those of you that find yourself entering passwords several times a day, some passwords you may want to reconsider:

overmydeadbody
bringiton666
fuckyou (as “you” in this statement is, in fact, you – not them)
lifesabitch
myjobsucks
iwishiweredead
killmenow
kissmyass (unless you’re into that)
everyonehatesme
weareallgoingtodie
imgoingtobringaguntoworkandmoweveryoneofthesecocksuckersdown
lookingforlove
iamanidiot
nomatterwhatidoitsnotgoodenough
dienow

I’ll leave it to each of you to devise alternatives that work to bolster your particular weaknesses. Gotta be worth a try – no?

But, while I’m on the topic of language and how it affects our well-being, let me just say that (proper context as described further below excluded), I really hate the word “hope.” It’s just so damn wishy-washy and whiney.

“I sure hope s/he notices me.”

“I hope you understand.”

“I really hope I’m not run over by a train today.”

Blech!

Stop “hoping” and do something about it. Don’t just stand there looking like a pathetic wallflower with zero self-esteem (because THAT’S so attractive!) – say something. If you have to say you hope someone will understand then obviously you assume they won’t and, even so, you felt compelled to say it anyway. Don’t tell me you hope I’ll understand – say, “I’m sure you WON’T understand” – it’s the truth after all. And finally, don’t hope to not be run over by a train – look both ways and, if a train is coming, stay off or get off the freakin’ train tracks!

Hope. What a cop out. 

(Proper context as defined by Tina because she cannot think of an alternative word and, within the context of wishing something for someone else, it makes sense.

“I hope you are feeling better soon.”

And no, “I hope you understand” is not wishing something for someone else – you are wishing it for yourself so the person doesn’t hold it against you!)

k?

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