Does Homeland Security Have My Name On A List?

July 21, 2010

I know! Two days in a row – it’s crazy. I think the North and South poles must be getting ready to make that switch-a-roo or something.

Actually, just a quickie.

Found out today – the hard way – that I set off metal detectors now. As my mind scrambled to remind and reassure myself that, no, I am not a knife or gun-toting homicidal maniac, I realized what happened.

Just imagine the young wash-n-wear-dark-blue-bordering-on-black-in-bad-lighting-security-guard-uniform-wearing man’s surprise when I pointed, quickly drawing his then just as quickly averted eyes, and introduced Pamela.

I, Pamela and Pamela’s large magnet were quickly waved through.

OH! I almost forgot – a wee little morsel of advice.

When you are trying to get a divorce, well, at least in Texas, it helps if you file a — crap! What’s it called again?

Oh yeah!

It helps if you file something called a

” P e t i t i o n for D i v o r c e “

(in blog sign language, that’s a “puhtishuhn – – dih-vohrs“)

…and not whatever that worthless piece of crap was that the worthless piece of crap lawyer gave us.

And yes, after over two years of separation and more than our fair share of divorce court snafu’s, K and I considered driving across the border today for a quickie – GET your mind out of the gutter! Quickie DIVORCE! – but figured with our luck the border crossing agents just might mistake Pamela for a mule.

And no, I’m not going to explain that. You either get it, or you grew up, and continue to be, hopelessly sheltered!

kiss kiss (bang bang)

— and chitty chitty

(Background for anyone who thinks it is shitty that I am getting divorced while being treated for cancer: My idea. My idea to separate two years prior and my idea to get the show on the road when diagnosed in February so as to not expose my ex – whom I will always love dearly – and my children to any financial liabilities I may incur should my health head south.)

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