External Life Mirrors the Internal

March 9, 2010

I declined an invite to go out for beer tonight with two very wonderful girlfriends because I have “barely gotten any of the things done on this vacation that I wanted to get done.”

Posting a journal entry was one of those things.  So, after taking Jack to baseball practice, Gabe to driver’s ed, putting dinner in the oven, picking up Jack, walking Buck to pick up Gabe, making a salad, serving eating and cleaning up after dinner, dispensing countless pills to my pill sorters (so I am more likely to take them), drinking apple cider vinegar and baking soda, tucking in the boys, applying a castor oil pack to my brutalized flesh, almost falling asleep, talking – finally – to my best and most neglected friend whose mother died (essentially) the same day as my first surgery, swallowing 11 pills, walking Buck and brushing my teeth, I start.

Yes Kay, Johnny Depp can put his shoes under my bed anytime too.  As for the movie – it was magic.  We got to see it in all its glory – 3D and IMAX (thank you Suzan!)  I don’t even know if the 3D was necessary, but the IMAX? I wouldn’t pass on it if you are given the opportunity.  Great movie for those of you that are too often tethered by the belief that some things are impossible. 

As for me, I have had a thousand thoughts rumbling around – primarily involved with the reconciliation of my belief system and the “fact” I have (had? how does one know when it is gone?) cancer.  I’ll write more about the ongoing resolution of these discrepancies later.  I’m not exactly sure where to start and my eyes are a bit tired tonight.  It’s all fairly standard fare for those that have had one of those more ridiculous conversations with me.  For those that haven’t yet, my apologies in advance.  You may find my lack of pragmatism – well, I don’t know what you may find it – unpragmatic perhaps.

As for health/doc updates, meeting with Dr. Kent Osborne, the Director of the Baylor Breast Center on Thursday to see if I like him well enough to be my oncologist.  Also, going thru the process of getting a meeting with a doc at MD Anderson.  I keep getting mixed reviews about the place so I figure I should just meet with someone and decide for myself.  Also, got both of those drains removed (second one taken out yesterday) and am greatly relieved to be able to roll over at night, albeit a bit gingerly, on my left side again!

Finally, I received some very encouraging news today.  One of the professors at Rice that, for whatever reason, I took a liking to right off the bat, posted to his Caring Bridge site today.  (I’m guessing the fact we share a birthday didn’t hurt, but I liked his moxie even before I found out there could be an astrological explanation.) He has been “off the grid” for several weeks as they took him to the very brink of weakness and vulnerability before receiving a stem cell transplant as treatment for his leukemia.  Turns out he is heading home later this week and, even though he will be in relative isolation for a few months as he rebuilds him immune system, it seems he has emerged behind friendly lines.

Hope springs eternal.



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