Avenue Q Meets Hannibal Lector

February 28, 2010

Anyone that has known me for any length of time knows that if Sleeping were an Olympic event, I would not qualify.  Not because I am not good, but because you have to be considered an ‘amateur’ to be in the Olympics.  I left my amateur status by the wayside years and years ago. And, considering the fact that every time I wake up for any length of time all I want to do is take my favored position on my porch, laptop perched on my knees with a cigarette burning in the ashtray, sleep is the next best alternative I can muster at the moment.  Were I feeling a bit healthier, maybe a brisk walk would kick the craving out of me, but brisk walking is probably still a few days away.

For anyone that may be concerned (because it has been a MAJOR concern for some-who-must-not-be-named), I achieved #2 today.  Apparently, #2 can be difficult after a long surgery and, if you go too long, can cause a great deal of discomfort.  So all that chatter out there about “tell her to eat this” or, “make her take some of these” or, “we can get an appointment for one of those” can stop now.

I did manage to squeeze in one fabulous benefit of major illness yesterday.  A house-call massage from a family friend, Satya Shepherd.  I don’t even remember the 2nd half of the massage, I don’t remember her leaving, I don’t remember saying, “Thank you. You may take my first born as you exit.” I’m sure she knows the sentiment was there (and I’m guessing my first born was just too quick for her!)

I finally worked up the nerve to look at my scar today.  Wow.  Really gross and weird and awful.  I think I’m going to glue some googly eyes just above it because it looks a little like a Muppet mouth that Hannibal Lector got a hold of.  With the googly eyes, I think you all could see what I’m seeing – some weird puppet S&M thing – without the googly eyes, I guess it could pass as abstract performance art or something, “Breast as gnarl left by excised tree limb,” but would require some obtuse text and music to accompany the spectacle.  Of course, we’d have to figure out what role my right breast would play.  It seems so frivolous to me today and could clearly develop a complex as it is obvious that I don’t NEED it.  Nothing worse than a breast that feels unneeded moping around all the time.

So, I feel another nap coming on and can think of no good reason to resist so I will sign off for now.  I’m not exactly sure what information any of you are expecting or wanting (guessing the S&M Muppet thing wasn’t within the range of expectations you visited this site looking for) so feel free to ask questions about whatever, it doesn’t even have to be related to breast cancer.  We can share recipes (I’ve got a really good one for PB&J – it has bread, peanut butter and jelly!), provide movie or book reviews, even offer up the best links to random funny stuff online.   I just can’t imagine anyone wanting to read, day-in and day-out, me bemoaning cancer (nor can I imagine wanting to write about it day-in and day-out).

So ’nuff 4 now ~




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